Damn

OK, so I'm obsessing over my damn ex because she's a friggin' actress and I hope not to see her, but she's been making appearances with big names like Ryan Reynolds, and she's even been on a TV show with not signs of slowing down so she's going to be hard to avoid. I don't think I'll see the movie that she's in because it will bring back memories to when she had told me about it and was getting fitted for some wardrobe. She was a sweetheart though, but I need to stop obsessing over her because there were things that I think I might have gotten tired of. Hopefully once I start up school again, I'll be better off, because for now I'm bored and all I'm doing is thinking about her, although not as deeply as the one Scorpio chick I dated in February of 2011. She was a real pain in the ass, but she was fine as hell, so I guess I kept on..I knew the flags were there, but I chose to ignore them because of her pretty smile. She was a brit and boy was she snobby as fuck. She had a snobby comment for just about everything that surrounded her. I swear she was different texting but over the phone she was a boring conversation. She barely talked, IF AT ALL. Get her on the phone and her responses to anything I inquired were nothing but boring as all hell. She was pretty slow when it came to conversation, almost like it was better to be around her than on the phone...YET she can text forever.  I swear I don't get women sometimes.

Damn, I sure messed up big time. for all I know I would've been with her at her grammy's award, who knows. I don't wish her any ill will, because she's very driven, and I like that in a woman. Even if I did mess up the beautiful relationship we had, and it was the BEST I've ever had. Boy she was SO into me, I think I was taken aback because of that and I freaked out. I'm used to women not responding with such passion towards me, but she really opened up to me and I did her wrong. How I can manage to mess that up I just don't know.  Oh, wait, yes, I do...my drinking. And I promised to drink while interacting with her, but some times. I do need to be more appreciative of life than before because I do have this disorder(Sarcoidosis) and I should be more humble and stop being so hateful. I'm going to try to do that, but being a Leo, wow, I am really arrogant at times. I was told that by the Scorpio, but she wasn't any better than me being a snob herself.

crazy because I had gone on like three dates with the Scorpio and I was deeply affected by her leaving me and than the acting chick. Maybe it WASN'T meant to be, but I just wanted it to last long enough to become intimate...by that I mean her telling me she loves me as well me to  her. We were good together and you could tell because we were so into each other. There were times when I was second guessing myself wondering how long before I mess it up. Oh, it didn't take long, but she forgave me too many times. I am sorry though because it IS my fault so.

anyways,

TTYL