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Reflections on My Time with Nakia Rivera
Looking back, I realize Nakia Rivera was one of the most chaotic people I’d ever met. She had a son out of wedlock, and while the kid was adorable, I could tell early on that his environment wasn’t going to set him up for success. She’d often complain to me about how he didn’t respect her, and while she didn’t give me the full story (as usual), I had a pretty good idea where things were headed. It was clear she was struggling to raise him right, and honestly, I don’t blame the kid for acting out. It’s hard to enforce discipline when your own life is a mess.
Her son clearly preferred his dad, who, to be fair, was a decent guy. But even he wasn’t without fault — he had two other kids from different relationships. I used to hope he’d go back to Nakia for their son’s sake, but looking back, I see that wouldn’t have solved anything. Poor judgment ran deep in that household, starting with Nakia’s decision to buy a rundown house she couldn’t afford instead of renting a decent apartment.
The House of Chaos
Calling her house a "home" is generous. It was an undervalued money pit she purchased without shopping around. No proper furniture, just a raggedy old sofa that looked like it had been salvaged from the curb. The place was always a mess — clothes everywhere, random clutter that never got put away. Every time I visited, I ended up cleaning it myself while she blamed exhaustion. Let’s be real — she wasn’t tired; she was lazy.
The basement? A dungeon. There was a busted step that eventually snapped, and instead of fixing it, you just had to "watch your step" going down. The bathroom was no better. She tried to renovate it herself, tiling with makeshift tools and no experience. It was obvious she had no idea what she was doing. Her whole house was a reflection of her life — poorly planned, halfway done, and falling apart.
Her Family Circus
Her family? A case study in dysfunction. They were friendly, sure, but way too friendly — the type that love-bombs you just to see if you’ll play "ATM" for them later. Her mom was a former (or maybe still active) crackhead, and I could never understand why Nakia let her stay in the house, especially with a known drug spot just blocks away. Her aunt 'Nette wasn’t much better — older but just as immature, with multiple kids from different fathers. Then there was her cousin, young but already living on welfare with no ambition to change. Her boyfriend was from Philly, friendly but aimless.
Her brother was the crown jewel of the madness — a jailbird with anger issues, trying to play "music producer" while stashing his equipment at Nakia’s house. It was wild. Her family would constantly drop by asking for favors like Nakia was rich. I tried to ignore it, but every visit to that house felt like stepping into a whirlwind of chaos. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to visit anymore.
What I Should’ve Seen Coming
Looking back, it’s clear I was blind to the red flags. The dysfunction in her life mirrored some of the dysfunction I’d seen in my own family, and I guess part of me thought I could handle it. I was wrong. I wanted to make it work, but she wasn’t even in the same state as me. If she’d moved to my city, where jobs were plentiful, maybe things would’ve been different. But she stayed in that rundown New Jersey suburb, surrounded by neighbors who were either elderly, stuck, or as ghetto as it gets.
Money, Ambition, and Reality
Her finances were a disaster. She had no clue how to handle money. She wasted it on useless stuff and had the nerve to call me "cheap" because I didn’t want to spend big on her. Meanwhile, I was the one paying to travel to see her — almost $200 each time. She never even offered to split costs. I remember her bragging once that she considered herself "middle class" just because she owned a house. I had to laugh. Owning a house doesn’t make you middle class if the house is falling apart, and you’re drowning in debt trying to maintain it.
I heard she eventually got a degree, but I doubt she’s using it. She never had ambition while we were together, and I doubt that’s changed. She’s over 30, and people don’t just change overnight. She might be a grandmother by now, and I can only imagine the generational cycle continuing.
The Lessons I Learned
At one point, I thought maybe if I stuck around, she’d change. But no — I see now that I saved myself from a lifetime of headaches and migraines. If I’d had a child with her, I’d be tied to that dysfunction forever. I’m grateful I had the sense to leave. It’s crazy how life teaches you to recognize the signs after the fact.
Good riddance, Nakia. Thanks for the life lesson.
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